++ Thursday, April 22, 2010

One last cry - Brian Littrell

My shattered dreams and broken
Heart are mending on the shelf.
I saw you holding hands standing so close to someone else.
Now I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone.
Gotta get over you?..
Nothing for me to do?..
But have one last cry.

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind,
This time stop living a lie.
I guess I'm down to one last cry.
I was here,you were there.
Guess we never could agree.
While the sun shines on you,
I need some love to rain on me.
Still, I sit all alone,
Wishing all my feelings were gone.
Gotta get over you?.
Nothing for me to do?..
But have one last cry.

I know I gotta be strong,
But 'round me
Life goes on and on and on, and on
I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I have my one last cry.

posted by carrotz @ 6:01 PM
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sometimes i juz dunno what to beleive anymore..

"..action speaks louder than words.."

posted by carrotz @ 4:48 PM
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++ Saturday, January 02, 2010

happy new year everyone (=

wow.. can't believe it's 2010 now!! i'm so excited + scred for this year it's not funny!! can't wait to see what God has installed for this year! new year, new ministries, new friends, new everything.. let's go! the best is yet to come! amen!!

thank you for your loving words + the truth (= mission / vision before everything else right?

posted by carrotz @ 10:55 AM
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++ Thursday, November 12, 2009

..in brokenness i know that this was Your will for me..

need Your strength.. hold me.. take me away \=

posted by carrotz @ 11:48 PM
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++ Wednesday, October 28, 2009

where u at boy..?

posted by carrotz @ 11:02 PM
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++ Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Spread My Wings - Shawn Desman

Why are you taking so long
You know the weather's already changed and
No need in talking too much
About the situation that happened
And I know it's implicitly said when I say
I don't want to argue no not today
And I tell you there is nothing left to say
Let me be free and fly away

Sometimes I wish I could fly
Spread my wings and soar away
And I'd never return back to this
Crazy love life that always push me away

You know I love you so much
But there's no need for me to keep waiting
No longer can you be trusted
I finally gave up on this love matter
And I really hate to leave but in this case
You broke my heart and now I feel this way
And I know somebody else is taking my place
Unfortunately I know that I can't stay (stay)

I'm telling you this time i don't need you no more
Tell me baby, what makes you do the things you do that makes me wanna be free
And all those times you lied to me about the simple things baby
I need my space to fly away (away)
(Sometimes I wish I could fly...)

posted by carrotz @ 11:47 PM
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++ Tuesday, September 15, 2009

time flies.. can't believe how fast time goes by.. thinking how things were 6 months ago.. all those things said.. the time spent.. the plans made.. that's out the window.. that's all just a memory.. that question that was asked.. all i can hold onto is You.. i dunno what this all mean.. is it that plain obvious? or is all this just a coincidence?

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
Philippians 3:12-14

when things look blurry.. when things look like nothing's happening.. when my life is at a T-section.. You will show me the way.. You will press against my heart.. You will tell me if i should turn left or right.. seeking You.. seeing life through Your eyes..

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
James 1:2-4

thank You for wiping away my tears.. for constantly healing me.. for Your unconditional love.. for loving others with Your love..

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.
Proverbs 3:5-6

i just wanna wait on You my Lord.. take me there.. where You want me to be..

posted by carrotz @ 11:07 AM
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++ Saturday, September 05, 2009

You are for me.. just had cyn's + alex's wedding rehearsal.. another chapter will start soon for them.. i'm so happy for them.. such awesome peeps..

it reminds me of how you don't know what's going to happen in your life.. and how things change (or not change).. the only thing constant is God.. just when you think people or things have changed, they haven't.. just as you think you may know someone or how your life will be, you don't at all.. and when i think i'm just about to conquer that mountain i've been on.. i realise that was just a hill.. and even though i'm walking through these valleys + mountains on my own.. i know that He's there walking with me, holding my hand.. like brooke's song says - when the world has fallen out from under me.. i know i'll be found in Him.. you never know what life will through at you - spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally.. who'll be there supporting you.. who'll be there enough to care.. who'll love you genuinely.. who'll be there to say everything will be alright.. who'll be there to wipe away your tears.. who'll be honest + true.. who'll sit next to you in silent + just be there.. i know looking back on my life.. it'll be the One from above..

You are for me - Kari Jobe

So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

So patient
So gracious
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me that

posted by carrotz @ 12:41 AM
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++ Wednesday, September 02, 2009

gahhh.. please stop these dreams.. sigh.. \=

posted by carrotz @ 7:10 AM
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++ Monday, August 31, 2009

Through the Rain - Mariah Carey

When you get caught in the rain
With no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain
without anyone
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down
Don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

And when the rain blows
As shadows grow close
Don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you
You'll never pull through
Don't hesitate
Stand tall and say

posted by carrotz @ 10:11 PM
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++ Wednesday, August 19, 2009

thank You for Your unfailing + endless love.. for covering me.. for whispering in my heart that everything will be ok.. for believing in me.. for encouraging me.. for making each day new.. for Your mercy + grace.. for my family + friends.. for my job.. for the air that i breath.. for my pain + heartaches.. for giving me the privilege to serve You.. for protecting me.. for romancing me.. for having 100% faith in me.. for my future that you hold in Your hands.. for Your overflow of joy in my life.. for showing me how to love others.. for showing Your goodness to me.. i could go on.. but from the bottom of my heart.. THANK YOU GOD!

psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.

posted by carrotz @ 5:31 PM
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++ Tuesday, August 18, 2009

sometimes i wish i could run away from everything.. away from the pain, away from the heartache, away from the stress, away from the pressure, away from the tears.. but i can't.. the only way is through it.. sometimes i wish i could not care, not love, not feel.. coz sometimes it does hurt too much.. heal me God )= i don't want to care anymore.. i don't want to be part of it.. take me out.. give me a rope + i'll climb out.. never want to fall into that hole ever again \= the only thing in my life that makes sense is You at the moment..

thank you to the those who genuinely care + love me.. that look out for me..

i'll keep smiling through my tears.. wrap me in Your arms.. for You're the only one that'll never want to let me go.. You're 100% faithful.. and Your words + promises never change like of those in this world..

sigh.. why can't i just not care.. why..?

..[ LYMY ]..

posted by carrotz @ 11:21 PM
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++ Thursday, August 13, 2009

sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow..
sometimes we must fail in order to know..
sometimes we must lose in order to gain..
coz some lessons in life are best learned through pain..

posted by carrotz @ 2:10 PM
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++ Monday, July 20, 2009

God..? when i prayed and you gave me that dream? that was the conviction..? hmm.. shall keep moving forward.. that's what You told me to do yesterday..

posted by carrotz @ 7:04 AM
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++ Saturday, July 11, 2009

i miss you a little..
i guess you could say..
a little too much..
a little too often..
and a little more each day..

"..trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.."

"..the hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.."

posted by carrotz @ 1:39 AM
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++ Monday, June 29, 2009

You hold me now.. wow.. thank You so muchhh! even in my struggles + problems + pain + heartache, joy consumes all that!! it's amazing + overwhelming that i can still smile + move forward (= i think i know where i'm meant to be.. it's gonna be excitinggg!! this is for You!! YAYA =D

posted by carrotz @ 12:21 AM
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++ Saturday, June 20, 2009

Overflow - Chris Tomlin

Here I bring my stains and crowns
Gentle river wash me now
Your love is deeper than I know
Your ways higher than I can go

Lead me in Your holiness
I will follow, I confess
Glory is the song I sing
Your life is living me

And where would I be
Without You, without You?
Where would I be
Without You?

I will bow before the cross
Cherish my Redeemer's cost
There is nothing I can do
But only stand amazed by You

Mercy new with every day
Wrapped up in Your arms of grace
Nothing more, You're all I need
Your life is living me

Like a waterfall
You fill my heart and overflow
Like a candle flame
You light my way
And lead me as I go

Spirit overflow
Let me overflow

posted by carrotz @ 10:17 PM
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++ Friday, June 12, 2009

on fayaaa!! woah.. 2 weeks ago during youth service, when ko jamz did a prayer thing at the end, He gave me a vision of a cliff - people below, and i was trying to get to them.. was this the same similar vision that He gave me during leaders meeting while we were praying..? a vision of a stage + crowd + that was it.. what the heck does that mean?? and man i remembered back during hillsong conference 2 years ago.. He gave me a vision of me coming down a mountain (yes a mountain!) with a crowd cheering / supporting me below [06.07.07].. is this what i'm supposed to do?? but what is it exactly? i guess i'll just have to wait till He reveals more to me.. how excitement!

cell was awesome this week.. we shared about how we were before + after having a r'ship with God.. i can't believe how much we have all grew.. hearing everyone share made me smile + teary.. i now know what ci susie was saying about us last saturday.. wow.. amazing.. too keep on pushing on with this generation.. that's what we need to do.. even though the seeds look hopeless + doesn't look like it'll grow.. that's for Him to do the rest..

God's been pressing galatians 6: 7-10 in my heart "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

when we sow - we need to sow to please Him, not us. we sow into this generation - so that this generation can rise up.. we can't give up on them.. God doesn't give up on us, so why should we give up?

all in for Him!!! (=

You hold me now..

posted by carrotz @ 2:33 PM
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++ Saturday, June 06, 2009

oh man.. what can you do when your closest friends are going through tough times.. i wanna help.. but i can't + i shouldn't.. it's their battle to fight, not mine.. it's hard to seem them like this.. all i can do is keep them in my prayers.. but i know that through all this, they'll come out as winners.. more than conquerors [romans 8:28-39]! keep pushing forward guys!! i believe in uz! xx

posted by carrotz @ 9:53 PM
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++ Friday, May 22, 2009

Part of loving someone is learning to let go.

posted by carrotz @ 12:46 AM
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++ Monday, May 18, 2009

why..?
did he ask that..?
did he share that..?
did she cook that..?
did she tell him that..?

i dunno what You're doing or what i'm meant to get out of this.. but all i can do is put all my hope in You.. You will show me the light at the end of the tunnel..

sigh.. whatever whatever..

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:9

posted by carrotz @ 12:34 AM
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++ Saturday, May 16, 2009

surrender all.. things are so easier said than done.. but i know that i'll be restored by His love + peace this year.. nothing can compare to His love.. things might be a bit crazy at the moment in my life.. but it's just part of the rollercoaste He wants me to ride.. coz in the end i know i'll thank Him for putting me on this ride in the first place - just like riding a real rollercoaster - you wanna go back on + go for another ride..

God just reminded me about the little things in my life that counts.. every tiny thing counts.. and sometimes i just pass it over coz it's small, it's nothing.. and those things are within my character.. i'm really glad that we're learning about character in cell.. it's amazing how different, but yet how similar people's characters are.. when i was reading the book of ruth.. man what a woman she is! amazing..! if i could even have a few of her characteristics.. i'll be over the moon.. and looking over proverbs 31.. omgoshhh.. i'm failig badly.. but it's good.. it gives me something to strive for.. to change myself for Him.. to be moulded by Him.. to be torn into pieces by Him.. to rely on Him.. to be led by Him..

i believe + know you can win your battle.. focus, seek + FROG! have faith that with Him you can win! you'll see the rainbow after the storm passess by (=

Five Loaves and Two Fishes - Corrinne May

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out with the trust of a child he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling smal
land I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you willI surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small
I trust in youI trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all no gift is too small

posted by carrotz @ 1:22 AM
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++ Saturday, May 09, 2009

hmm.. even when i'm alone + down, i know i have You by my side, that's for sure.. You wipe my tears + say everything will be ok. when i want to run away, You hold onto me + make me stay..

i'm worthy in Your eyes.. i'm beautiful in Your eyes.. i'm precious in Your eyes.. i'm a princess in Your eyes..

only He has the perfect someone for you.. surrender to Him.. it's been interesting listening to the past two messages in youth about marriage / rships / timing.. hope + pray we all can rely on Him + look in the inside not the outside.. move with His spirit..

meh.. action speaks louder than words.. and it's clear what you want..

That's what she said - Backstreet Boys

There are people that say what you wanna hear
Even on a raining day they'll tell you the sky is clear
When you really really love someone
Am I right when I say that you want them near?
And if you can't even tell them things that they wanna hear

Always, forever
All things she said
Never say never
Those simple lies that she fed
I will never leave you
All the love I thought she had
But can you blame me, no
Coz that's what she said
That's what she said
She told me we'd see forever
That's what she said, she said, yeah

And there are people that say what they really mean
She said she'd always be there
She said she'd always care
But just when you think that you can trust that someone you love
Tell me why, or do you know how stars can fall from above?

Coz you made promises that you couldn't keep
But you're not hurting yourself
You're only hurting me (you're only hurting me)
Why would you say things that you really didn't mean? (you really mean)
Oh how can I make you see just what you did to me?

Oh, you said how much you really cared
Just when I thought I was in love
Girl, how could you dare?
If I were you I could not lie even once
To the face of the one
That I love so much

posted by carrotz @ 10:58 PM
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++ Wednesday, May 06, 2009

sigh.. i know i shouldn't doubt.. but seriously.. it's called coincidence.. right God? i'mma let it go.. can't handle it.. sigh..

posted by carrotz @ 12:42 AM
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++ Tuesday, May 05, 2009

"A man should be like tea; his real strength appearing when he gets in hot water."
- Unknown

posted by carrotz @ 11:56 AM
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++ Friday, April 24, 2009

i[heart] my dear friends.. amazing how He gives me awesome loving friends that check up on without me saying anything to them. thank you! (=

"Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.."
Proverbs 18:24

posted by carrotz @ 12:00 PM
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++ Wednesday, April 22, 2009

..[F.R.O.G].. omgoshhh.. why is it hard to do that? how come i can't be more like joseph..? his life was turned upside down, pushed to the limit by God.. but he stuck by Him + remained FAITHFUL coz God remained faithful to him.. i'm amazed looking at joseph's life.. i guess tonight reminded me, i must keep pushing forward..! gahhh.. am i just confused about what You said to me? playing with my mind? gotta let it go i guess.. and let it just be.. only in Your time, will you make things beautiful.. and only in Your time, will things be unveiled..

posted by carrotz @ 10:29 PM
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++ Sunday, April 12, 2009

Dare You To Move - SwitchFoot

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

posted by carrotz @ 12:23 AM
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++ Thursday, April 09, 2009

gahhh.. why do i feel so heavy )= i wanna get through this.. but why is it getting harder? shouldn't it be getting easier? why is He telling me to take the risk? what risk?? a risk is the exposure to the chance of injury or loss.. now i know what He means.. He wants me to give up everything, and by doing so it would cause me pain + suffering.. i need to have FAITH in Him.. fwnkn's words yesterday in cell was very encouraging.. and reminded us how we should stand on faith.. i have to be honest + say my faith level hasn't been up to the max as it should be.. through everything that has happened recently, i feel like there is no hope at all with me.. but God gave me a whack.. He holds my future in His hands.. that's already amazing.. i can't ask for anything more.. all i can do is reach out to Him + surrender.. it's all or nothing, even though it hurts so much.. )=

I Still Believe - Jeremy Camp

Scattered words and empty thoughts
Seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
Seems I don't know where to start
But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
Even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind
With promises I still seem to bear
Even when answers slowly unwind
It's my heart I see you prepare
But its now, that I feel, your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

Well the only place I can go is into your arms
Where I throw to you my feeble prayers well in brokenness
I can see that this was your will for me
Help me to know that you are near

I still believe..

posted by carrotz @ 11:26 AM
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++ Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Faithful - Brooke Fraser

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what I long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray
And I want you more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tounge,
knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

posted by carrotz @ 11:59 PM
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++ Tuesday, April 07, 2009

wew.. what a crazy rollercoaster i've been on the past few weeks.. one extreme to another.. high in the clouds one moment then crying out coz my heart is in pieces.. am i really this strong to get through this? why is this happening again? why am i in this pain? sigh.. i know i'll get through this if i seek Him.. cry out to Him.. He is my healer + comforter.. but why can't i just hide + run away? why is He telling me to stay, to wait, to trust? arghhhhh.. my head + heart is going to explode.. what's going on? only His timing will tell.. only His way will prevail..

i will serve You all of my days.. worship You with all i have.. let go of everything i have in my hands.. even though i'm hurting inside, i need to trust You.. have faith in You.. only then will i get through all this..

waiting for the rainbow to appear

.s.u.r.r.e.n.d.e.r.

posted by carrotz @ 5:22 PM
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++ Monday, April 06, 2009

Clinging to the Cross - Tim Hughes + Brooke Fraser

My soul is weak
My heart is numb
I cannot see
But still my hope is found in You
I’ll hold on tightly
You will never let me go
For Jesus, You will never fail
Jesus, You will never fail
Simply to the cross I cling

Letting go of all earthly things
Clinging to the cross
Mercy’s found a way for me
Hope is here as I am free
Jesus, You are all I need
Clinging to the cross

Even darkness is as light to You, my Lord
So light the way and lead me home
To that place where every tear is wiped away
For Jesus, You will never fail
Jesus, You will never fail

What a Saviour, what a story
You were crucified but now You are alive
So amazing, such a mystery
You were crucified but now You are alive

posted by carrotz @ 11:01 PM
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++ Wednesday, April 01, 2009

thank you for everything + for being you (=

..[GOD] is the [STRENGTH] of my [HEART]..

posted by carrotz @ 2:15 PM
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++ Tuesday, March 17, 2009

expect the unexpected ^^

posted by carrotz @ 11:38 PM
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